The guards looked at the corpse, and then to Colon. He cleared his throat, feeling a little hot under the chainmail.

"Well, it seems clear to me that-"

"Holy sausages!" It was Nipkin, one of the new recruits, pointing at a suspiciously shaped...item lying in the shadows a few feet away. "Is that his....holy sausage?"
Guard work certainly could be unsettling, but Nobby saved him the distress - or *some* distress - by sidling over and picking it up. And taking a large bite out of it.

"'S a zucchini, Sarge. A Sto-Hilt Select."

Colon smiled grimly. "The courgette cudgeller strikes again!"